Failure To Attract

…And this friend always has an amazing insight to share. I read this one tonight and loved how she worded it, so I thought I’d share it with the world:

Inside of every living being is a solid nugget of pure fucking awesome, surrounded by flabby, lazy, sorry-for-itself, ugly, ashamed, disgusting bullshit. Every second of every minute of every day of its life, each and every living being ought to be working like a goddamn fiend, scratching, clawing, snatching the odd breath, fighting, pulling, striving, digging through that bullshit; working just to see the faintest glimmering shine of that potential through a thinner layer of crap.

Some dead things hate you for digging. They don’t even exist. Just ignore their wailing and keep digging; live.

If you don’t, yer doin’ it wrong.

Isn’t that amazing?

I’m sure you’ve had a day at your 9-5 where from the moment you walked through the door, you felt like you could cut the tension with a knife? You feel that oppressing weight of uncomfortable tension weigh heavily on you, when people you get along with normally just snap and the negativity is stifling?

Yeah, that’s the kind of soup I’m sitting right in the middle of right now.

I’ve never been good with dealing with this kind of stress; I’ve just been really sensitive to the feel and energy of my surroundings, and this suffocating atmosphere is almost a little too much for me. It’s days like today that I really question my employment here.

Now don’t get me wrong, I like this place normally, and I understand that every job has it’s down days… but I still can’t help but think about how different my life would be if I had started early.

I know that motivation has always been my problem, and working around 60 hours a week at this job doesn’t help my motivation to do more work after that… but I know that’s what it takes, and I wish I just had a direction I could go in. I have no idea what I want to do, I only have ideas on how to maybe make some money, but there really isn’t something I’m just aching or screaming to do, something that I’ve wanted to do for ages that could be a lucrative thing. I have passions, but so far they aren’t things that could make any money, and beyond doing what you love - money is a big factor. Especially when you’re trying to support yourself and others on your own.

I’m trying to set an intention to help guide me in the proper direction.

Wish me luck!

Last night I found out that the one opera I’ve been wanting to see for several years is in Austin - for today. The tickets were mostly sold out, except for the nosebleed section - not for me.

I’m a little bummed that it happened, but I know that it’ll be back. I just wanted to share with you all the most powerful song (in my opinion) of Verdi’s Requiem.

-David

I’ve been trying to come up with my niche for a few years now.  I have several talents that could work, and I’m going to pursue them… but I’m not all that passionate about it.  Not to mention, some of those talents are very hard to teach someone.

So, last night, I decided.  I’m going to do something along the lines of teaching how to be romantic and/or how to express themselves in relationships.  I’ve always been one of those hopeless romantics - ever since I was in fourth grade and read The Courtship of Princess Leia (Yes, I’ve always been addicted to Star Wars) - and I want to see if I can put anything I’ve since picked up and learned and even thought of myself to good use and help anyone.  Especially guys who don’t understand how to make someone swoon.

Now I have to say, admitting all of this to the general public has my eartips all red, and I’m slouching a little in my chair in some embarrassment.  But hey, if I can help people learn to express their love for people, then I need to do it.  This world has far too little of it, and I personally believe that contributes to a lot of the world’s problems.  Call me an old (or young) hippie, but I’d rather be that than an uptight, repressed person in denial about himself.

One of the more inspiring stories I’ve heard in regards to the power of it all, was about Bob Marley.

Back in 1977, he was shot days before a free concert that had been planned… I can’t tell the story that well, so here’s an article from the time from Rolling Stones, written by Carmen Crowe:

“Bob Marley, one of the world’s best-known reggae performers, and three other persons were shot December 3rd when seven gunmen burst onto the grounds of Marley’s home in Kingston, Jamaica, where he and his band, the Wailers, were rehearsing. Miraculously, amid a shower of bullets, there were no fatalities.

Island Records spokesman Jeff Walker said the musicians were on a short break from preparing for their headlining appearance at a free outdoor “Smile Jamaica” festival, cosponsored by Marley and the Jamaican Cultural Ministry December 5th at a Kingston race track. It was 9 p.m. on a Friday evening when two cars roared into the driveway of Marley’s home on Hope Road. After sealing the exit with one car, four of the gunmen began firing into the windows of the house. Another man, described by one observer as looking like “a 16-year-old kid, scared to death,” burst in the side door and began firing wildly. One of the gunmen entered the kitchen, pushing past percussionist Alvin “Seeko” Patterson, and took aim at Marley. Group manager Don Taylor happened to be directly in front of Marley and took five of the seven shots, four in his upper thighs. One bullet grazed Marley’s chest directly below the heart, and passed through his arm. Also shot were Lewis Griffith, a friend of Marley’s, and Rita Marley, who was shot once in the head as she tried to escape by car with five children who were present.

While the gunmen escaped during a chase by police, the victims were rushed to nearby University Hospital, where Griffith remains with serious stomach wounds. Rita Marley underwent surgery to remove the bullet from her head and was released the next day. Don Taylor, injured the worst, was placed on the critical list and later flown to a Miami hospital, where he is reported to be recovering.

Released from the hospital December 4th, Marley was swiftly tucked away in a hide-out in the Blue Mountains. “He was convinced someone was still trying to kill him, not just scare him,” said Walker, who stayed with Marley over the weekend. “There’s not much more to say until the men are found. One of the cars was found abandoned in Trench Town.” Besides heavy police protection, Marley had the support of his fellow Rastas, who hid high in the surrounding trees, armed with machetes.

The “Smile Jamaica” festival began on schedule, even though other expected acts like Bunny Wailer, Peter Tosh and Burning Spear didn’t show up; early arrivals numbered 50,000. Third World went on first and, according to filmmaker David Silver, who was present at the show, played the “set of their lives” to a crowd unsure if Marley would even show up. In touch with the concert site by walkie-talkie, Marley was unsure himself; his band has scattered after the shooting. While Marley thought it was over, all the band members were rounded up except for Aston “Family Man” Barrett, and Marley decided to appear.

According to Walker’s description: “We raced down the narrow roads of the mountain at top speed with police escort. They cheered in the streets as Marley approached the race track. He ran right out of the car and onto the stage, where Michael Manley [prime minister of Jamaica, who had visited Marley in the hospital] hugged him warmly.”

Marley, in full view of the crowd, by now, 85,000, made a small speech: “When I decided to do this concert two and a half months ago, there were no politics involved. I just wanted to play for the love of the people . . . ” He then proceeded with “just one song,” as Manley, also in full view of a possible assailant, stood atop a VW bus beside the stage. Though he was unable to play guitar because of his wounds, Marley and the Wailers performed for an hour and a half. Even Rita Marley, her head bandaged, sang backup.

“It was very, very moving,” recalls Silver. “There was no violence at all. Everybody was just swinging with the music, and Bob . . . Bob was like some wild creature — he was prancing and jumping like some crazy shaman. I’ve never seen him like that.”

At the end of the set Marley unbuttoned his shirt to show his chest wound to the crowd. Next he rolled up his sleeve to show where the bullet had passed through his arm. Then, mimicking the action of pulling guns from two side holsters, Marley laughed, left the stage and was raced back to his mountain hide-away. He left Jamaica December 8th for an undisclosed destination, but plans to return shortly.”

One thing that was not included in this story and might not have even been said by him, was that when confronted about his decision to go on stage so quickly after being injured, he said something like “The men who perpetuate hatred in this world aren’t taking a day off, why should I?”  Even if he didn’t say it, it’s a powerful idea.  Something that resonates with me personally pretty deeply.

I’m always open to suggestions, but I know that soon enough I’ll be starting a blog as the beginning and going from there.

-David

Once again - things have been crazy!

My newish 9-5 has been putting me through the wringer… I admittedly kind of enjoy the work, and I get paid decently for overtime - and I’ve been putting in a lot of overtime lately. But one thing does remain true throughout all of this…

I still don’t want to work for someone else.

So, I’m working on a new online business, which will hopefully be launched in the next couple of weeks. I’m still going to do the website consultation and assembly, just not nearly as much as I did before. My plan is to have a few streams of income coming in (Like Pat teaches), and to be more than self sufficient in the next few years.

I say years because I know that’s how long it takes. A lot of people out there want a quick fix, and get upset when the money doesn’t just fly in immediately. I’ve observed a lot in the past half-decade, watching people such as Joe Vitale, Bill Hibbler, Craig Perrine, Pat, and numerous others who have been successful in the business do their thing to become successful. Time, patience, and the determination to follow through are essential. Let me repeat that: Time, patience, and the determination to follow through are essential.

Now, it’s one thing to understand this knowledge, but a totally different thing to actually practice it. I know that very intimately, because over the past three years or so, I’ve been completely lazy and inactive toward my goal - and its cost me! I continue to think “If I had started doing all of this diligently back then, I could possibly be in a similar position as Pat.” That’s a mindblowing thought!

After working at my 9-5 for only a few months, I am easily and constantly reminded about all of these things, and have been learning to self motivate myself - my biggest obstacle - to help me reach said goal.

Maybe I’ll write a couple of posts in regards to how I discover how to self motivate.

Until then… I should get back to work. See you on the flip side!

-David