Failure To Attract

I’m sure you’ve had a day at your 9-5 where from the moment you walked through the door, you felt like you could cut the tension with a knife? You feel that oppressing weight of uncomfortable tension weigh heavily on you, when people you get along with normally just snap and the negativity is stifling?

Yeah, that’s the kind of soup I’m sitting right in the middle of right now.

I’ve never been good with dealing with this kind of stress; I’ve just been really sensitive to the feel and energy of my surroundings, and this suffocating atmosphere is almost a little too much for me. It’s days like today that I really question my employment here.

Now don’t get me wrong, I like this place normally, and I understand that every job has it’s down days… but I still can’t help but think about how different my life would be if I had started early.

I know that motivation has always been my problem, and working around 60 hours a week at this job doesn’t help my motivation to do more work after that… but I know that’s what it takes, and I wish I just had a direction I could go in. I have no idea what I want to do, I only have ideas on how to maybe make some money, but there really isn’t something I’m just aching or screaming to do, something that I’ve wanted to do for ages that could be a lucrative thing. I have passions, but so far they aren’t things that could make any money, and beyond doing what you love - money is a big factor. Especially when you’re trying to support yourself and others on your own.

I’m trying to set an intention to help guide me in the proper direction.

Wish me luck!